Something to tell you…

…I’m pregnant!

I can finally share our news with my lovely readers, we are finally expecting baby Michalak no.2!

I still feel like I haven’t really processed it myself yet- I can’t believe it’s finally happening, but I’m so, so ridiculously happy that it is.

It’s been a long road…

For me, the road leading up to this pregnancy has been a long and personal struggle, and something I’ve wanted to adress on my blog or Youtube channel for a while now, but being something I know will make me upset to talk about the timing of it has been rather tricky.  I’ve had to wait until I’ve felt in the right mental state to be able to talk about it honestly and openly.

When I had a miscarriage last year, it affected me more mentally than I ever thought that it could- it was all I thought about.

There wasn’t a single day that went by that I didn’t feel down, I felt so deeply lonely with it and for that reason the second half of last year was incredibly tough for me. Of course we had some amazing experiences as a family but behind the scenes, I was so mentally clouded with intense grief for our baby we would never know. I felt like my desire to have another baby, a sibling for our son, and get pregnant again completely took over my life, and I became obsessed with the idea- a coping mechanism for the loss we had been through, perhaps.

I felt like my own mind was driving me insane, I literally felt like I was going crazy, and that feeling wouldn’t go away no matter what I did or how I attempted to distract myself. You’d think taking care of my 2 year old son Grayson would be a great distraction- but it only solidified how much I desperately wanted more children. All I wanted was to have a break from thinking about it, it’s like I was just torturing myself, and I really didn’t know how to change the way that I thought about it. I thought that with time, these feelings would fade, but months went on, and they didn’t. I would still randomly burst into tears because of it. I desperately wanted to not feel that way, and I got to the point where I wished that I didn’t even want another child so that all these feelings would just disappear and I could feel normal again.

The months went by and each month I tried not to put more pressure on everything, until…

It finally happened!

That annoying thing people say to you when you are trying for a baby, ‘just relax and it’ll happen’, actually turned out to be true for us. It was the month that we took the pressure off and decided to leave it for a while, that it actually happened.

It was a crazy cocktail of emotions the day we found out; ecstatic, elated, surprised, disbelief, and terrified. Mostly terrified on my part. Very different to when I found out I was expecting Grayson. I remember thinking straight away  ‘I’m going to have a baby’, blissfully naive to the fact that it doesn’t always go to plan. Although I was feeling absolutely blessed to be pregnant again, I couldn’t help but think, ‘I don’t know if I am strong enough to go through another loss’.

For the first 12 weeks of this pregnancy, I became extremely withdrawn because I was perpetually anxious every single day. It’s been little things like I was scared to go to the bathroom incase I was met with blood like before. I wouldn’t buy any bump butter, go to a pregnancy yoga class, or even write down any of my pregnancy feelings or symptoms because I felt like anything I did would jinx the pregnancy. It’s such a mind boggling thing because I am so completely and utterly over the moon to be pregnant again, but I just couldn’t let go and be positive about it. I was too scared. So I constantly expected the worst, compared everything to last time and each day when i woke up, I prepped myself for the same thing to happen again.

Realisation and being able to enjoy this pregnancy

I realised, I’m not helping myself or the baby, or anyone for that matter, by thinking this way. So, I decided to just throw myself into this pregnancy, because even if the worst does happen, I’ll still be devastated no matter how hard I’ve tried to protect myself.

I think one of the hardest things about being pregnant after losing a baby is knowing that you don’t actually have very much control over what will happen. Obviously you can eat well and take good care of yourself, but ultimately, your body is in total control, and after having a miscarriage I found it very hard to trust my body to do its job correctly. I’m trying to focus on the good and use the affirmation ‘in this moment, everything is okay’ and ‘different baby, different outcome’. It sounds silly but it’s really helping my mindset.

Since we had our main 12 weeks scan (and we’ve actually had 4 scans so far because I have been extremely neurotic!), and been told by the professionals that baby Michalak no2. is looking very healthy, I feel like I can breathe again.

I felt shocked, like I had only just been told that this baby is really going to happen, that I was actually in-fact, pregnant. It was like someone let off a pressure valve, and ever since then I couldn’t have embraced this pregnancy anymore, I’m really, really enjoying it.

Some days I feel so happy that I could psychically cry- it’s probably all those crazy pregnant lady hormones huh?!

Apart from the anxiety, my first trimester went extremely well, like freakishly. I think that’s partly why I was so paranoid something was wrong because I didn’t feel pregnant- totally the opposite to how I felt when I was pregnant with Grayson. I’ve also had a completely different set of pregnancy signs this time too… I’ve felt way more energised, fancied lots of green vegetables (I know, who am I?!), had a constant eye twitch (totally random!), but just generally felt SO great and healthy.

I’m not sure how many updates I’ll do on this pregnancy, or how much detail I’ll go into as I still do feel nervous, but I’m trying not to. I’d still like to be able to look back on this time and remember exactly how it was, so I guess we’ll see. The ache for this second baby has been unlike anything I have ever experienced before, and it certainly took the wind out of me thats for sure. It’s something we have wanted for a long time now, and we are all so excited to grow our family and meet the newest member this summer. The great thing about the timing now, is that Grayson really understands what’s going on and has been getting really involved in the pregnancy- he came to the first scan with us, and he’s been to my midwife appointments too- even helping her to take my blood tests! I really think he will be such a sweet big brother, although it does seem strange to think that he wont be the youngest for much longer now.

Anyway, I hope it doesn’t seem strange to have talked about my previous miscarriage and mental struggles when announcing our new baby is on its way, I just found it almost impossible to write about one without the other when for me, they go hand in hand, for now at least. I wish I could describe in a more articulate way how happy I really am, happier than I have been in a long time, perhaps even the happiest ever and I still think it’s crazy that we will soon be a family of four, I can’t wait.

Han xx

107 Comments

  1. I’m so incredibly happy for you and Stef!! Congratulations!

    • Dear Hannah,
      I don’t normally comment (silent reader I guess) on your blog and I have left a comment on YT already but I feel like you deserve another one!
      Congratulations again, I am sure you are going to have a wonderfully healthy and happy baby!
      My sister had a complicated pregnancy so for the first few months she refrained from being overly excited and telling others, I understand it must have been a very bipolar situation for you as well..
      You deserve all the best and I am sending all my love to your little family of 5 (cat included ;)) xx

  2. I’m so incredibly happy for you and Stef!! Congratulations!

  3. So beautiful, I wish you and your sweet family all the best with No 2!
    All the love your way XX

  4. Thrilled for you Han, that ache is crusifying. Lovely new adventure for you and the boys xxx

  5. This has made my day! Congratulations to the lovely Michalaks xx

  6. Lovely news! Huge congratulations to you all. Such a lovely family x

  7. I am so over the moon for all of you!

  8. Beautifully written! Of course you’d be scared again with this pregnancy but it’s important to have faith that everything that’s meant to be will always find a way! Congratulations! You have such a beautiful family and you should give yourself so much more credit for just being you! X

  9. Congratulations 🙂 so happy for you and your little (soon to be bigger) family 🙂 xxxx

  10. So ridiculously happy for you and your family! I follow your weekly vlogs and watched all of your pregnancy videos!
    I’m so excited for you and I hope you dive into this pregnancy and share what you please. It’ll be lovely for Gracie to look back on 😍😍
    I love you all so much, thank you for sharing your life with us!

  11. Congratulations Hannah, sending you and your family all of the loving vibes and positive energy in the world. What wonderful news!
    Peta x

    http://www.pe-ta.com

  12. I’m so happy for you! Sending lots of love from Prague, wishing you the best! It’s sooooo weird that I’m happy as if my best friend was pregnant but I love to hear the great news and am looking for new Michalak adventures ❤️

  13. Congratulations! Your blogpost left me with tears in my eyes and I am so deeply happy for the three of you! Just take your time and enjoy your time of becoming a family of four! You two are wonderful parents and Gracie is going to be an amazing big brother! SO happy for you!

    Lots of love from Germany xx

  14. Hannah, such an amazing blog post. I am so thrilled for you guys. I’ve been watching your blogs and readying your blogs for the past 3 years. Me and my fiancé are currently undergoing our second round of ivf so although slightly different I can familiarise with the pain, heartache and longing that you feel for having a baby. I blogged our first ivf cycle but after that failed I decided to not blog the second (perhaps as a good luck omen for this round!) . I just wanted to share the happiness that I and I’m sure a lot of your followers feel for you guys. You had me in (happy!) tears reading the above. I will continue to follow your journey and wish you lots of love and luck along the way.
    Amy, Devon xxxxxxx

  15. I’m so incredibly happy for you, Stef and Grayson! Congratulations!!

  16. Congratulations, wonderful news. I am currently 6 months pregnant with my first although i did have a miscarriage last june so in weird way this doesn’t feel like my first baby. Reading your post made me feel like i am not being silly with being so apprehensive with allowing myself to enjoy my pregnancy but it all feels too good to be true. Been an avid viewer since you had Grayson and its been a joy to watch him and your family grow. Again congratulations 🙂

  17. This is such lovely news! All the best to you all x

  18. Dear Hannah

    I can’t tell you how happy I am for you. It is going to be a new and wonderful adventure. That’s for sure.
    I understand that you’re nervous and worried but for your baby you need to stay strong and happy. You never know what will happen in life and I still think that is what’s good about it.
    You are such a strong woman and you are probably the most lovely person I have ever seen on YouTube. (Because that’s where I know you from) You will be fine you only need to trust yourself.

    There is a saying which I think fits really well:
    In the end everything will be fine. And if it’s not fine it’s not the end.

    I am so happy for you.
    Take care and lots of love from Germany

    Sina

  19. So pleased to see this, congratulations! Completely understand your emotions, I have had two losses and when I was pregnant for the 4th time I felt completely suffocated with anxiety until she was born last summer. That grief never leaves you but you just have to believe it will be ok and enjoy your pregnancy Congratulations xx

  20. That’s so wonderful news! Wishing you all the best!!!
    Lots of love from Austria <3

  21. Crying just a little bit over here. What an absolute blessing. xx

  22. Congratulations Hannah. I’m so glad to hear that Grayson is looking forward to being a big brother. I know he’ll be fab. Hope you all have a lovely day xx

  23. Congratulations Hannah. I related to this post so much. I also lost a baby, between my second and third child being born. And my third pregnancy didn’t feel at all real until the second trimester. It is an incredibly difficult time, but exciting too. I also had several scans with my third baby to reassure myself all was well. Even one of those fancy 4d ones you get burned on to DVD. I just needed little things like that to help get me through. With Grayson in tow I am sure the time will speed by now. Congratulations again.

  24. Hannah I am so excited for you!! Watching your vlogs and seeing how affected you were made me feel so much closer to you as I experience a miscarriage only a few weeks earlier than you had. As I am the first one of my friends to fall pregnant and not close to many other women, I withdrew into myself and my darling partner was equally at his wits end not knowing how to make me happy. This was to be our first child together, and not our first miscarriage (just before Christmas we had another one).
    Going through the experience with you made me become the person I once was and so I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Seeing Grayson being his typical self every week made me so happy, knowing that one day I was going to experience that.
    Thank you, and congratulations. Baby Michalak 2 is going to be so loved and so wanted and couldn’t come to a more deserving family.
    Wishing you all the best with the next 2 trimesters! Take your own advice and relax and enjoy the experience!
    Much love!

  25. Im so incredibly happy that’s it’s finally going your way – take your time with posting and do what’s best for you! Enjoy xx

  26. ❤ Hannah, I have nothing to say but congratulations! You have a real flare for the honest, beautiful and wholesome truth! Xxxxx

  27. I am so pleased for you. When I went on to YouTube and saw the thumbnail I squealed! Congratulations. X

  28. Words couldn’t possibly describe what you have gone through or how you have felt this past year. I completely understand the obsession in wanting to conceive (I feel like it’s taking over my life) but you have given me hope.
    I have followed you for years because you are so true to yourself and honest. I know you share a lot but you are also very private which I admire greatly. I am so overjoyed at your good news and wishing you all the best in your coming months. Maybe the positive symptoms are the worlds way of saying ‘now relax’. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I’m really looking forward to seeing/ reading the coming pages in tour story xxx

  29. Reading this post, I 100% understand everything you are talking about. I had two miscarriages before my second baby Florence was born. All I wanted in the world was a sibling for my son Freddie – somebody for him to play with and grow up with – and everyday that he got older it hurt even more. Saying goodbye to someone you have never met is the worst pain I’ve ever experienced but when you hold that new baby for the first time those memories will become that little bit easier. I was so worried as well – every time I went to the toilet I was dreading the worst but you will get there and it will be wonderful! Congratulations and good luck! Xx

  30. I really hope I bump into you so I can give you the biggest hug because I am so happy for you. Ah! Well done, Hannah for carrying this baby and for conquering each day even though it feels impossible sometimes.
    So weird but i love you guys!!
    Adie

  31. Hi Hannah!! Sooo exiting! I also got miscarriage 3years ago and it has been a struggle to get pregnant afterwards. I did my positive pregnancy test in December when I was visiting Bristol and you have been so much in my mind after your miscarriage hopping it soon was happening to you too. And now it seems we are getting babies quite the same time! I know exactly how you feel about being nervous-I felt horrible too. Expected the worst on the week 12 scan and finally was so happy when I saw a living healthy baby! I wish you all the best to your pregnancy and I look forward to hear from you and see some belly pictures! You have hidden it so well😄 Lots of love
    Ida 16+3

  32. Amazing news! I am so pleased for you all. Couldn’t have happened to a lovelier family 💗💗

  33. Congratulations!
    You must keep in mind that miscarriages a lot of times happen not because your body “fails”or somehow your body is against the baby. It is a sort of a natural mechanism. Sometimes it is due to some sort of anomalies that cannot be linked to a healthy life for the baby. (Medstudent alert) In which way it is actually better that the baby doesn’t suffer. It just happens, and it is not in your control.
    But enough of that – congrats,superhappy for you!

    • Did you ever go through a pregnancy loss? From what you write, i suppose you never did. Saying stuff like you did, doesen´t help! Moms that loose babies knwo that kind of stuff, but it doesen´t make it easier… not at all. It hurts like hell… so please keep you “info” to yourself!

  34. Congrats Hannah Steph and Grayson…… this was a beautiful blog post. We lost two babies last year and like you we are aching for our little rainbow. Seeing this post gives everyone traveling this same journey hope. I’ll be thinking of ye and sending ye good wishes xxx

  35. Congratulations! Wishing you all the best xx

  36. Sooo happy for you! Wishing you and your family the best!

  37. Hey lovely!

    Every word you’ve wrote down, every sentence you’ve formed is completely how I felt with mine. After having my miscarriage, I felt lonely, I was reminded how “it’s early and you can have more” – that never made it any easier. It still hurt and it still does now. I gave birth to our little Rainbow girl in October and we called her Iris Raine and her name fits her perfectly. I appreciated my pregnancy with Lucas but never as much as I did with Iris as she’s made me feel whole again after awaiting the positive test between the miscarriage and the positive test with her. I find writing it down on my blog therapeutic and helps me get out any sadness I have; although the sadness is always there. I totally relate to your sadness for the baby you’ll never meet as I too feel that. I feel bad when I say things like “it happened for reason” or “it happened so we’d be blessed with Iris”.

    Anyway I’m now rambling on your comments section! I just wanted to tell you you’re not alone, how you’re feeling is normal and also to say congratulations and that I’m absolutely over the moon for you guys.

    P.s that little bump is perfect.

    Lots of love to your family and little rainbow 🌈

    Nicole

  38. Hey hannah,
    Congrats to you both to your lovely news. You’re a really inspiring person to me! I love your videos, blog and your family vlogs and i’m happy for you guys that you are expecting another little person 🙂
    Don’t worry too much and enjoy your pregnancy!
    Love you, greets from austria and all the best :)♥

  39. Beautifully said. And having suffered miscarriages myself, I completely understand the anxiety that comes with pregnancy following a miscarriage. So thrilled for you, Stef & soon to be big brother Grayson! You are one gorgeous family, & I could not be happier to hear the special news that you will finally be blessed with your little rainbow 🌈 ♥️ I’m hoping I won’t be far behind… x

  40. I am extremely happy for youu! I wish the best and please enjoy every bit of it . You deserve the bests ! Be happy ! Congratulations to your little family:)xx💋🎈❤️

  41. I have been following your family adventures since before bub #1 was around as a silent viewer but I feel I need to break the silence and congratulate you & Stef and Grayson on your exciting news! Thank you for sharing the start of this new journey with us, whilst I know my little comment will not have the impact that this news has on all of us for you, just know that on the days that are difficult or remind you of another time – we are sending all the love and positive energy from around the globe. X

  42. Congratulations! I’m so happy for you 🙂

  43. My heart ached for you guys after all this happened only because I know my mom went through something similar and having been to all her appointments with her it felt like it was happening to me in a little way too. I still think about it all the time over 20 years later.

    But I can honestly tell you that I am beyond happy for you guys. I’m over the moon for a family I’ve never met and yet know a lot about, well, what you choose to share with us. Congratulations. I love you guys and I can’t wait to see what life for you guys with baby 2 brings.

    Thanks for sharing your story. I can appreciate it must have been hard to put it all down for us. Sending all my love.

  44. I am so thrilled for you! And I’m glad you can address what you’ve been struggling with, too. It seems only right to acknowledge all that has been going on and going into expecting another little one. So excited to see you as a mother of two, and a family of four! x

  45. What a joy for you all. Wishing you a safe passage through the next few months. Kat x

  46. I remember finding your youtube through zoe right when you had gracie. I remember the baby yogola class and how excited you were to walk with him in the fall. I’m so happy for you and your family. You guys deserve it. You are so strong and I applaude you for going through so much while taking care of grayson. I couldn’t imagine. I know grayson is going to be an amazing big brother. Congratulations

  47. I was trying to a find way to describe how I felt after my last 4 miscarriages. Defeated. I was so angry at my body. I’m 17 weeks pregnant now and SO thrilled but the anxiety still takes over.I’m trying my hardest to enjoy this pregnancy . Thank you so much for sharing and congratulations ! <3

  48. That’s so fabulous…crying tears of joy at 6am Sunday morning here in the Pennsylvania darkness of my bedroom. A baby for Hannah, Stef and Gracie! Bless you..you’ve been through so much! I’ve been recovering from a brain injury for 2 plus years. That means alot of quiet time watching YouTube, not sleeping, making peace with being ‘disabled’ grieving the loss of the life, home, independence, people and career I loved. Your family feels dear to me, like a neighbor or a distant friend. Thank you for helping me find joy in the world again. And easing my loneliness. Wishing you all the best! In this moment, all is well. I strive to stay in the moment and not let fear destroy my rational perspective:)Love always abides.

  49. Congratulations!! I’m so happy for you. I’m also really glad you were open about your previous miscarriage. I have a couple of friends who went through your same situation and described it in much the same way. They felt like they needed to keep all their suffering quiet and I believe that is so harmful! Thank you for being open since it will give other people permission to share their feelings later on too.

    Great news on baby two!

  50. So happy for you hannah!! Been watching since Gracie was born and I never miss a video 🙂
    I wish you the best of luck and happiness for all of your family x

  51. Congratulations Hannah! I’m so happy for you and I wish you the best with the pregnancy.

  52. Hooray! I don’t know you but have been following along for years as we were pregnant at the same time first time around, and I’m so happy for you! I’d guessed that you were pregnant as you seemed quite withdrawn or anxious over the last few vlogs and so I hoped that you were pregnant and just feeling exhausted or sick, (but a bit concerned that perhaps you had suffered another loss).

    At any rate it is such brilliant news and I can’t wait to ‘share’ this journey with you again on Sundays – my little girl is two months younger than Grayson so has grown up watching him when we do, & now I’m a couple of months along with our second pregnancy too! I never usually comment (although did email you once in the early days gushing about how great it had been watching you guys a couple of months ahead of us during endless night feeds, which Stef was kind enough to reply to!) but just wanted to add to the swathe of congratulations and love for you guys – so pleased for you and can’t wait to watch your 2017 adventures as a family of four. Better stop now before the pregnancy ugly crying starts!

  53. Congratulations guys. Sorry about the miscarriage. Thank you writing honestly about it, it will help many x

  54. I could relate to everything you said here about miscarriage and the constant fear of loss again – so many women can. Thank you for sharing with us this struggle…for so many of us… Just knowing we are not alone in our fears and emotions is enough to help us get by. I’m so happy for you! And that mindset of different baby different outcome?? I did the same thing with my post loss pregnancy 😃

  55. I’m SOOOO happy for you!! Reading this made me cry tears of joy!

  56. The biggest congratulations to your little family 😊 my sister and I are obsessed with your vlogs and watch every single one you releease! Every cloud indeed has a, silver lining and I am so glad your little beautiful family is growing 💜 I am so excited to see what your future holds and to see many more happy family memories. Thank you for the wonderful vlogs, heartfelt blogs and for documenting it for all of us!
    Love Taz, all the way from Cape Town, South Africa

  57. Wow I’m so happy and excited for you guys! It’s amazing that you’re having another addition to you beautiful family and it’s just great to witness your family grow. I’m wishing you all the best and hope that all of you guys will remain happy and healthy! xx
    (And this is kind of weird but I kinda thought you we’re pregnant before you announced it cause you were talking about being hormonal and stuff and I just felt like you weren’t talking abou being on your period hahah)

  58. So happy for you and your family!

  59. Congratulations! I’ve really found myself in this post. I had a miscarriage before my son was born and afterwards, for months and months, it was all I could think about. My lost baby, getting pregnant and the fear of it going wrong again. It’s like an obsession. I’m so happy for you that you made it through this difficult time and I think it’s great that you share your story. Many women go through it and it’s good to know you’re not alone.
    Thank you for being so open and finding the positive in this.
    Hanna

  60. Congratulations! I am very happy for you all! I love watching your vlogs and reading yr blog posts I feel like I can really relate to you! My son is 6 months younger than Grayson and we are hoping to get pregnant with number two this year so it will b lovely to watch your vlogs and see what we have to look forward to! I really liked this blog post as it was so honest and beautifuly written! I am sure it will help lots of women out there who are going through the same thing….xxx

  61. Congrats! I´m really happy for you guys and i absolutely understand how you felt and feel! My older daughter is the same age as Grayson and we have been trying for another child since summer 2015. Had a miscarriage in fall of 2015, that led to me beeing hopitalized and needing surgery after i lost 2L of blood. I got pregnant again the following spring, but lost that baby too. I struggeled so much, couldent bare looking at other moms… life was really hard for me. Last fall i decided to “stop” trying, eventhough i always wanted more the one child and i didn´t want them to be to far apart. A week befor christmas i felt stange and took a test anyway… the impossoble had happend. I´m 16 weeks pregnant, with my 4th baby and i´m over the moon… but still i have the two little ones in my heart, i´m miss them everyday and i´m sad that i´ll never meet them! Stay strong, enjoy life and talk about what happend to you! You will be impressed how much it helps! Lots of love!

  62. So, very, happy for you guys! Massive congratulations, enjoy your pregnancy and this special time! lots of love and good wishes to your family x x x

  63. Beyond happy for you xxx

  64. So happy for you Hannah! You deserve all the happiness in the world. Your pregnancy videos with Gracie have gotten me through much of this first pregnancy and I am so thankful for you. Best of luck with your growing family!

  65. Congratulations, such lovely happy news for you and your family! I got all teary when i saw your Instagram post x

  66. Ohhh Hannah!!! I am so happy for you and Stef!!! I can’t wait to see your perfect little family grow! I was talking to my best friends the other day about you guys, and how wonderful parents you are to little Grayson! I really look up to your family, and I can’t wait to have that some day! Congratulations again! I’m so over the moon happy for you all!

  67. Hannah,

    I am so happy for you and your family. You are very brave to write so openly about your experience. My two boys are now 14 and 11 years old and I too experienced a miscarriage between them at about the same time in the pregnancy as you. Your post has completely taken me back to those feelings and emotions and I can completely identify with everything you say. I had some bleeding during the start of my third pregnancy and I spent the whole time imagining the worst, but here I am now with my two beautiful boys and I couldn’t love them more – and I will always love the baby I never knew as well. It is a privilege to watch your beautiful family videos and Stef’s artistic filming and editing makes it a joy too. Congratulations again and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and beyond.

    Joanne X

  68. I’m so happy you have let yourself be excited! That’s a very difficult, complicated, and vulnerable thing to do (and talk about). I miscarried my first pregnancy at 16 weeks and it is something no one can prepare you for. I was so anxious and scared when I got pregnant again, that I couldn’t even soak in the joy of it. Then one day, at about 18 weeks, I realized it was slipping through my hands, and this baby deserved the same love and joy as the first, and I gave myself permission to be happy with it. I still think about who Eliza would have been. You are allowed to grieve for that baby for always. Love you and your vlogs (and my videographer husband loves your vlogs too! He’s always gasping at steph’s edits!)

  69. Best news to wake up to on a Sunday morning. Congratulations! I can tell you are ALL more than ready for this baby. Enjoy your greens and the adorable growing bump!!

  70. Massive congratulations to both you and Stef….thanks for your very honest and real words, this must be a concerning time for you but your doing amazing. Positive vibes to you and baby number two. Xx

  71. Great news!!! I’m so happy for you all!

  72. I’m so happy for you Hannah and I can’t wait to meet baby no.2 and watch your journey! Grayson will be the best big brother ever!

    Reading this made me so sad however, from a selfish point of view. I have been ttc for 2 years now and had one 9 week mc and 2 chemicals in that time. I would so anything to be a mother and I could truly relate to how you felt each and every day, and how you it felt like your every moment was consumed by having a baby. It becomes and obsession and the tears never stop. This made me cry because you have your happy ending already and mine seems so far away still. Infertility and loss has ruined the last 2 years of my life but my desperation to be a mother remains so strong after so much heartbreak and tears. Congratulations to you and Stef and I’m wishing you a lovely, uneventful rest of your pregnancy. Xx

  73. Congratulations Hannah, I’m so happy for you! You deserve this, I hope you start to feel a lot better on the mental side of things. I’m sure you already know, but remember to look after yourself too as well as Grayson and the new little one. xx

  74. Dear Hannah,
    I’ve always been a silent reader and have followed you and your beautiful family since Gracie was born, but this time I felt like I needed to write to you. It’s unbelievable how much your family has become part of my life, watching your vlogs every Sunday and reading your blog posts. I guess it’s because of that that I’ve been hoping that your wish would finally come true and now that it has, I’m absolutely thrilled for you! I wish your baby, you and your whole family nothing but the best. Thank you for sharing your life and thoughts with all of us, it’s hugely appreciated. Sending love and positive vibes!

  75. Congrats Hannah and Stef! Happy for you!

  76. I could’ve written this. Exactly the same experience/feelings as you. I now have my rainbow baby 😀
    HUGE congratulations and thanks for sharing

  77. Congratulations!!! I just have to say don’t cheat yourself out of celebrating and sharing this pregnancy! I lost my first daughter at 20 weeks gestation due to a genetic disorder. When I became pregnant with my second daughter I didn’t celebrate as much, take as many photos, etc because I was so scared I would lose her too. Looking back, I wish I would have pushed my fear aside and let myself enjoy my pregnancy more and share it more with others because now I feel like I cheated myself out of a happy last pregnancy. It is hard to put aside the fear, but you won’t regret it. Congratulations on your perfect little rainbow!

  78. Oh Hannah! This is so exciting!! Congratulations to you and your family! xx

  79. Congratulations Michalaks!!! So so happy for you! Wishing you all lots of happiness and love!

  80. Completely Understand!! I had a miscarriage in the late 80’s. To go on to have a total of 3 children. All happy and healthy. My mind also played tricks with me. I am now a Grandma of 3 and a half. My only Son is having a Son this May. Sooooo Happy for You and Your Family Hannah!!! Soooo Happy!!! 🐯🐱🐤🐣

  81. Hannah, I’m just dropping a line to say how happy I am. Commenting is not my thing, but your post is really sweet and your past experience, although heartbreaking, has eventually led to something beautiful. Stay positive! 🙂

  82. Ah huge congratulations.

    We had a miscarriage, started trying again almost straight away, had another miscarriage a year later and then it took another 2 years to fall pregnant with my son. My second was no problem though so there’s only 15 months between my 2 boys.

    Completely know how you must have been feeling. It totally consumes you and I never relaxed. 24/7, it was always there xx

  83. Congratulations to you, Stef, Grayson and of course the cat! I can’t wait to see this little bundle of joy! I’m sure Grayson will be an amazing big brother; as I know with me & my brother. He makes sure nothing bad happens to me- even though I am 16! Again massive congratulations to you all.

  84. I have to say, I’ve been suspicious for the past few weeks about you expecting, and I’m so happy I was right! Congratulations to you and your family, it’s so exciting to think that soon there will be a second baby Michalak running around in the vlogs. After all the pain you went through this year, you deserve all the happiness that this child will bring for you!

    XOXO

  85. Congratulations Hannah! So happy for you 3; so exciting to be growing your beautiful family x

  86. Congratulations! I’ve been following your vlogs for a long time now and have never commented but I wanted to say congrats and please don’t apologise for talking about your miscarriage. I struggled so hard when I had a second trimester miscarriage of my first baby (my waters broke at 14 weeks and we had to terminate the pregnancy because without waters the baby wouldn’t grow) and like you got pretty obsessed with getting pregnant again. I don’t think I was expecting the anger I felt. I had to seek professional help. But again, like you guys once we relaxed and took the pressure off I got pregnant then in January this year I had our baby Jean. She’s the most amazing baby but every time someone asks ‘is this your first baby?’ And I have to smile and nod but there is a voice screaming in my head – ‘no it’s my second!’. I will never forget my first baby. I do hope one day I will no longer cry as much over her but she is a part of our story.
    Get all the scans you want to make you feel at ease. The hospital understands.
    I would love to read/watch pregnancy updates but I understand the feeling of jinxing it all too well.
    Xxx Lizzie (from Melbourne, Australia)

  87. So incredibly happy for you! I knew something was up when I realized I hadn’t seen any cheeky glasses of gin in a while (;

  88. Wow! Congratulations on your exciting news. You are a wonderful, relatable family and I enjoy watching your family vlogs and your own videos on your YouTube channel.
    Congratulations again and all the best for the remainder of your pregancy xx 😘😊

  89. You deserve this more than anyone! It’s strange not physically knowing someone and being incredibly happy for them but that’s how it feels. I love how your vlogs and blog really make it feel like we know you and I think that’s a huge part of this. Congratulations to you and Stef. So very happy for you. J x

  90. So happy for you! Congrats! I’m glad that you shared you story as well. I’m sure it will help others.

    http://www.thelifeshecreated.com

  91. Hi, Hannah! I’m literally crying tears of happiness right now, and I have no excuse because I’m not pregnant, hahahahaha. You are an awesome mom, and Gracie and baby n. 2 are very lucky to have you and Stef as parents. Wish you all the best, and may you enjoy your pregnancy to the fullest. Lots of love, Celi.

  92. My best friend and I have been viewers for years and I texted her and we were both freaking out with excitement for you both! I’m so happy for you and the fam, Hannah! <3

  93. Congratulations!!! I have been following you silently for a while now but I just couldn’t help but leave you a message when I saw this. This is such a blessing and I am so grateful for you to have this opportunity. Kids are the best and as someone that’s patiently waiting to find the right partner to have a family with, I love hearing other people’s happiness while I wait. Congratulations again!
    – Gabby @ thebrokegirlblog.com

  94. I had a miscarriage last August. It would have been our second baby as we have a one and a half year old daughter. It absolutely consumed me and I couldn’t think of anything else. I felt like a phony in front of family and friends when having conversations and pretending to be “normal” inside I was screaming. Every month I would take pregnancy test after pregnancy test and cry every time it didn’t happen. A family member was pregnant at the time time and I had to see her pregnancy updates and try and be happy for her, which I knew deep down I was but I was just too consumed in my quest for a second baby. We eventually decided to stop trying because my mental state just couldn’t handle it anymore and I went back on birth control. Reading this brings me so much hope and joy and I know that waiting is the best thing for us at the moment. I have my daughter to focus on and like you said the more older she gets, the more involved she can be. I wish you all the luck in the world for the future as a family of four. Congratulations. ❤️ X

  95. Evviva!! congratulazioni!!
    ….and all the best!

  96. Congratulations! I’m not sure if the following thought will make you feel any better about your miscarriage, but it did for me, so I hope it will for you too — my first pregnancy was a miscarriage and I was absolutely devastated as well. Several months later, I became pregnant with my son (who is now almost 2 years old :). I like to think the first baby I miscarried isn’t gone — that the first baby is actually my current son, at least his soul is. For whatever reason, he wasn’t ready to be born yet the first time around. I’m not a religious person and my rationale may sound a bit crazy, but it helps me cope with my first miscarriage. So perhaps you didn’t lose your baby, at least not his/her soul. He or she is just finally ready to be born.

  97. Yay Hannah! Your news brightened my day! I’m so excited and happy for you.
    I know how you feel. I’ve been pregnant 4 times and I have an almost 3 year old and an almost 3 month old. I struggeld with those same emotions and it sounds horrible but I just told myself a million times that I’m hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. Having my boys are the best thing that ever happened to me and I’m so blessed with them.
    I can’t wait to follow along your pregnancy journey and I’ll say a prayer for your family.

  98. Yay, I’m so happy for you! Although I’ve never been pregnant it was so interesting to see how you’ve been able to overcome the struggles of a miscarriage, something a friend of mine unfortunately experienced recently too (she now has a beautiful, healthy baby girl so there is definitely something to look forward to). As for eating lots of greens, my mum was the same way when she had my younger brother and even as a teenager he still loves to eat really healthily so you never know!
    Good luck and congratulations x

  99. Dear Hannah,
    I am normally a silent reader and viewer, but I just had to comment to say congratulations! I am honestly so happy for you, knowing what you’ve been through I can’t imagine the concoction of emotions you must have been feeling when you found out. I really am overjoyed for you, I have watched your videos for a very long time and it seems to me that you and Stef are really great parents so the best of luck with Michalak no. 2!
    Lots of love from Poland ! x

  100. A massive congratulations Hannah! I miscarried my first pregnancy and your thoughts and emotions were everything I felt as well. Pregnancy after a loss is difficult and full of anxiety but I found that the more I talked about my pregnancy (it took me 16 weeks to announce) the more real it felt and the more I believed everything would be fine. It’s as if I fed off everyone else’s excitement until I allowed myself to finally feel excited too. I totally get the irrational OCD-like thoughts too…I did and avoided the craziest things to make sure everything would be ok. I found that once I felt my baby kicking around 20 weeks that my anxiety eased dramatically. The good news is that my son Grayson (I actually found your lovely vlogs as our babies have the same name!) was born on March 12th 2016 and is about to turn 1! He’s our “rainbow” and brings us so much joy. I promise that it gets easier and the pain of miscarriage fades as you focus on your new healthy pregnancy. When you hold your baby in your arms, you will feel healed and complete. These are such exciting times ahead…enjoy! Xx

  101. I’m so excited for you guys! I’m a pretty new viewer. I’ve been binge watching your old videos for a few months now. I’m up to Christmas of 2015. I absolutely love you and your family. You’re so wonderful and lovely. In response to your quote “I’d still like to be able to look back on this time and remember exactly how it was, so I guess we’ll see.” Can you still do weekly updates, but not actuality make them public until you’re comfortable with it? Then you could still have a video diary for yourself, but take the pressure of showing everyone else out of it. I have no idea how the production side of YouTube goes so obviously my advice might be ridiculous, but it seems like a good idea to me. ☺ you’re amazing and I’m so excited for you!!

  102. I am so happy for you both. Congratulations. I wanted to say in response to your comment “I hope it doesn’t seem strange to have talked about my previous miscarriage and mental struggles” – that it is, in fact, so healthy to actually talk about your feelings around both your miscarriage and being pregnant again. We can help ourselves and others when we share our life experiences. You are not the only one to feel this way. Once again, congratulations – enjoy each moment.

  103. Congratulations!!! I’m excited for you! Only and all the best for you! X

  104. Thank you so much for this post-Hannah, I have also suffered two miscarriages and can relate so much to the above. I am so pleased for you all and gives me hope that maybe one-day we will have that happy news too!

  105. Big congratulations to you both!