Almost half-way


I’m almost half way through my pregnancy now and truthfully, I really don’t want it to end so quickly.

Don’t get me wrong, of course I am looking forward to our new little family member arriving this summer (and finally finding out if we will have another son or a daughter this time!), but I can’t help but be totally elated in this dream like little limbo I’ve somehow found myself in. Perhaps it’s all the fresh Spring blooms, the baby animals everywhere, my blossoming tummy and of course a generous dose of hormones, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt happier. It really does prove that there is always light after the dark. Knowing that we will soon have a whole extra little person in our family to love is seriously just the best feeling ever.

After my first pregnancy, I honestly never thought I’d be one of those women who enjoyed being pregnant, but this time around I am loving every single part of it. I woke up in the night a few days ago, and I couldn’t for the life of me get back to sleep purely because I was so darn excited about this little baby coming! It honestly still doesn’t feel real to me!

I find myself appreciating my quality alone time with Gray so much more than before, something I didn’t really expect to happen. The thing is, I know these moments between us might soon become a little more rare when we have our new little edition & also there’s no escaping from the fact that Grayson starting at school is looming next year. I seriously can’t belive it’s come around so quickly, and I can pretty much guarantee I will be a complete emotional wreck on his first day, especially if I’m already feeling emotional about it!

These two big impending changes coupled together, have made me realise just how lucky I am to have been to be able to be a ‘work-from-home’ Mama for the first 3 years of his life, and to have spent all of our days exploring and learning together.

Of course, it goes without saying that there are harder things about this pregnancy too- nap times are basically non existent when you have a hyper active three year old boy who needs entertaining- and that’s pretty tough, and my tiredness has a way of hitting me halfway through the day, which is just wonderful! (sense the sarcasm there!)

I suppose that’s my biggest struggle really, that and the battle with anxiety. After losing our last baby, I’ve found this time that I’ve behaved very differently in this pregnancy, even being further along. I still haven’t bought anything for this baby, where as before I think I had pretty much everything we needed by this point, all washed and ready to go! But, anxiety is a funny thing, and if I can keep it at bay by not baby shopping, I will do just that. That is, until of course it gets to the point where I actually need to be prepared for a newborn! I definitely feel as though it tends to cloud me more so when I have a scan coming up, so much so that I can’t really sleep the night before and I just really worry that something will have gone wrong when all I want in the whole world is for this baby to be safe and healthy. As much as it has been a very prominent thing for me this pregnancy, I’m not letting the anxiety ruin it for me, especially as I’m having so much more of an enjoyable experience than my pregnancy with Gray (sorry dude, but it’s true!).

I’m sure as I get bigger and daily tasks become more difficult to manage, perhaps I wont feel so relaxed and serene about the whole thing, but for now, I’m basking in it and lapping up every last moment.

Han x

 

 

 

 

 

9 Comments

  1. Beautiful post as always, gorgeous, gorgeous photos! I’m not sure if you’ve felt the baby move as of yet but when you do there’s loads of bracelets out there where you move the charm to the time you last felt the baby move, it really helps with anxiety and thoughts of whether or not you’ve felt them or if you’ve imagined it as there’s something tangible to see and prove to yourself that yes everything is okay!

    Big love to you and your little family, I loved the vlog this week <3

    Heather xx

  2. I’m happy you’re enjoying your pregnancy and cherish moments with Grayson, you’re an awesome mom and you’ll be just that with the new baby peach (is it another fruit yet? Haha).
    If the shopping gives you anxiety you’re so right to push it to later, just enjoy the more you can!

    Love from Switzerland,
    Laureline

  3. I love your words, there are so fresh and real.
    Like you i’m in the beginning of my second pregnancy and this time around I feel most anxious this second around. I found a lot of comfort in your words.
    You’re so right, being pregnant with a toddler is challenging. You really want to enjoy this time together as much as you want to take nap. That’s why I plan to make bucket list so we can enjoy this time together and have no regret. I will definitely include an afternoon in bed watching cartoons (brilliant idea btw).
    Spring is definitely an new beginning I hope I’ll embrace it.
    Thanks for sharing your journey.

    Béné from fourseasonsnotebook.com

  4. It’s so lovely to witness this journey. It’s crazy how you don’t know me yet Iv followed you and the boys for the last 3 years.
    You are a wonderful mother and I genuinely feel happy for you as if you were a close friend.
    The photos are beautiful. Xx

  5. Not yet a mum, but so loving following your journey on the Michalak vlogs, and on your channel! You are helping me be less scared, and more excited about kids! 🙂 Thank you for sharing your journey.

  6. So happy for you, Hannah! Lots of love from Boston! 💝

  7. Amazing post (as always). Stef truly does take the most beautiful photos of you! A few weeks before you announced your pregnancy, I was watching all your vlogs with a very nosy eye, wishing that you guys were pregnant (and thinking that you weren’t). And I was so excited to hear that your next baby has been with you all this time! I really can’t believe you’re hitting that halfway mark. I’m so thrilled for you guys and I’m so excited to meet your happy, healthy, beautiful little munchkin this summer!

  8. I can’t believe that you are halfway through either!! I feel like you guys just made the announcement. Just enjoy every moment as it comes. 🙂 (not that I have ever been pregnant) I feel like that’s true for most big events in life right? Just soak it all in.

    Xo,
    Caroline
    Theprettylittlesecretblog.con

  9. I am so happy for you and Stef and can’t wait to see the new little one. I’ll pray that God keep your baby safe and healthy.